Tiktok’s latest “it” song is Djo’s “End of Beginning”. It’s often accompanied with indie sleaze inspired outfits of the day clips or dramatic edits to the emotional climax of beloved blockbusters. Regardless of the accompanying video, its melancholy synth riffs somehow have the power to pause my doom scrolling, even if it’s just for a second.
I have a tendency to be a bit out of touch when it comes to certain internet trends. I might even be a little late to the party with this very trend at this point. But there is something about Djo’s “End of Beginning” that leaves me contemplating the lyrics, the meaning. I’m sure this has everything to do with the phase of life I am in at this very moment. I have temporarily moved on from Spain in the effort to get my Italian citizenship. Now in a moment of brief sojourn I’m in California as I organize my documents in preparation to go back to Italy in preparation to go back to Spain. The move to Italy was unexpected, not something I had been planning many months in advance. More so, a spur of the moment decision to facilitate the process of me living in Europe long term. There wasn’t much time to process my experiences in Spain, I was just reacting to possible opportunities and took it. And now that I’m back in California I am forced to slow down and reflect on all that transpired in Europe.
Djo (AKA Joe Keery from Stranger Things) talks about “Chicago” and a certain inexplicable feeling and change he sees in himself when he goes there. Granted, I don’t know the real meaning of this song or if Chicago is someplace he visited or lived. But there appears to be a universal truth hidden in the lyrics. “End of Beginning” encapsulates the complicated love story between a twenty-something and the big city they decided to move to. When you first move there the world is your oyster, anything is possible. Then a couple months go by and it hits you that life here is a bit more difficult than you expected and your existence feels more like a spec. Yet you love the way the leaves turn in fall, then back again in spring. And you love that the owner of the cafe across your street knows your exact order. And you love the animated way people gossip on the phone. And you love witnessing the initial awkward encounter of a couple on a first date at the bar. There’s even some less flattering things about the city that you fall in love with. Like how people make smoking their whole personality or how the cashier rolls their eyes when you don’t have exact change at the supermarket. No, things aren’t like how they used to be when you first moved there, but with each passing year with you and the“big city” you slowly start to recognize your ability to live with nuance. Things are fun and hard, scary and exciting, boring and overwhelming often all at the same time. I think Djo is talking about the person he became while in Chicago. And he’s noticing the sweet anguish of becoming a different person. People often ask me what it is that I like so much about Madrid. And there is so much: the people, the museums, the culture etc. But what I really love about Madrid is the person I became while I was there.